Web Shui

I know what question has been keeping you awake at night. “Is Feng Shui applicable to the Internet?” Yes, I believe it is. Below you’ll find a handy hexagram, devised in accordance with ancient Chinese secrets, enabling everyone to have a better surfing experience, free of negative energy (Shar Chi literally: “a gosh-darned, messed-up connection”).

The Pa Kua of the Web: OUTERMOST SECTOR: Elemental link colors. DIRECTIONAL SECTOR: Indicates direction your computer should face. ELEMENT SECTOR: Important clues to size of hard drive and sexuality. INNERMOST SECTOR: Indicates the homepage of the household head.
Bad Placement: By placing the mouse in the center, you will be subject to constant reboots and viruses. Bad Placement: Never place your mouse diagonally or you could be stabbed in the back by a coworker who catches you surfing porn. Good Placement: Nothing is blocking your mouse's path to health and prosperity. There is an abundance of beer. Good Placement: Coming in sideways, the mouse avoids the poison arrow effect of a flaming comment. [davezilla.com]

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